You, You, You Oughta Know...

I'm a huge fan of Facebook...some might call me an addict, but for today we'll go with "fan." I think one of my favorite things about the site is the wide selection of apps and activities. I've subscribed to the God Wants You To Know app since the beginning of my FB membership. The daily messages will very often resonate with a situation I'm facing or a feeling I'm working through. Some have been extremely poignant, and today's message was no exception. In fact, it's probably one of the most applicable messages I've received.

On this day of your life, we believe God wants you to know...that your pains are God's way to rouse you from slumber.

Pain in your wake-up call to awaken, to look deeper into yourself, to adjust the course of your life. God tries to be as gentle as possible, and only if you ignore the call does your pain get stronger.

Ouch...literally!!

In general, there are very few days or stretches of time where I feel rested and energetic. I kind of just plod along, not very happy with where I am but apparently not uncomfortable enough to change it. Then, times like this happen. I started losing my voice, the mainstay of my job, on Saturday. Somehow I got enough of it back to be able to sing for Easter services, and then it started to fade again. By Monday morning it was totally gone. Then, to top it off, on Monday I developed severe stomach pain. I figured out, too late to remedy, that I was having a gall bladder attack even though my gall bladder was removed several years ago. If you eat too heavily or don't take care of yourself, you can still experience those heart attack-like symptoms because your bile ducts and liver are working overtime. I was in terrible pain most of the day and well past the time I usually go to sleep. Today, Tuesday, the majority of the pain is thankfully gone. I'm just left with the aftermath, that soreness that you'd feel after having the stomach flu or food poisoning.

Then this message came up...and totally ruined me. I've complained for what seems like forever about not feeling well, wanting to have energy and be confident with myself. In short, why can't I just feel BETTER??!! Then it hit me like a ton of bricks: you can talk the talk about wanting to change all you like, but when you keep going back to the same bad habits and expect a miraculously different result, you're going to be disappointed. Isn't that the tongue-in-cheek definition of insanity?? God laid it out on the table for me: Until you're willing to truly change your ways and step out of the comfort zone, you're going to constantly end up back at this point. And since I love you far too much to let you stay here, I'm going to remind you from time to time about the repercussion of your poor choices. Take a different path!!

This pain, which I've had quite a bit over the last few months, has been more bothersome each time. I'd thought it was the flu, or food poisoning. It's cost me money from cancelled lessons, time from laying on the couch, progress toward my goals for the need to rest and recuperate.

God is constantly finding ways to silence and still me so He can talk to me. I'm now fully convinced that each bout of laryngitis is an effort to do just that. So when that happens, I try not to get too discouraged, and instead I ask what He's trying to say. I think he wanted me especially silent and still to hear this big truth.

Read you loud and clear, God. Help me to stop, be silent, be still, and take a different path.

I'm listening...